Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Amazing Disgrace

I have always enjoyed "The Amazing Race." I didn't actually watch the show, but I always loved the concept. A race around the world! And Mei working on it forever, and then her going on the race made it that much more totally awesome (although those cryptic phone calls where Mei would call to say hi and upon being asked where she was would just reply "Secret..." were damn annoying.)

I watched the show for one season, about 4 years ago, when I had just moved back to NYC. My sister and I made it a weekly ritual. We liked to imagine that we, too, were on the race and may or may not have been heard saying to each other: "Rory and Bridget...you are team number...ONE." And we loved the hot brothers.

I hadn't watched it at all until this season (yes, I missed the Goths of season past). It is honestly rare that I actually follow a show. SERIOUSLY! The only shows I can actually follow have to be on Bravo because they re-air the episodes 17 times a week. But I made it a point to follow this show. And it sucked! I mean it was still exciting in a way, but the teams were terrible. And I missed the first episode where the self proclaimed Hippies got kicked off. One by one, any team I would get behind or would be entertained by were eliminated. So we were left with the horrible frat boys, the eventual winners Nick and Starr (who were conniving and backstabbing bitches) and then Ken and Tina. They were a separated couple who were trying to see if they should give their marriage another shot. And I think he cheated on her or something. But they were the WORST! In probably every sense of the word. They were annoying to look at, annoying to listen to and were just....annoying. Apparently my thesaurus is broken.

So at the end, when all of the teams are on "the mat" and Nick and Starr are reveling in their post-win glory (cocky bastards) Ken and Tina come running in, in second place. And then Ken starts shaking and almost crying and talking about how it's been a long road. And then he's pulling out a little package from his pocket and talking about how much he loves Tina. And then we see that he's pulling wedding bands from this package and grabbing Tina's hand and saying "I know we've haven't been wearing these lately" and then he's really crying and she's crying too and then he's putting the ring on her finger saying he wants to give it another go.

And then I'm crying.

I KNOW! It's ridiculous. I hate them! So why, after how ever many episodes, should they make me cry? What does this say about me as a person? As a modern woman? And he cheated on her. He's a bastard! I shouldn't cry over his display of emotion and declaration of love, I should scream at the TV and warn Tina, however annoying she is, to run, run far away and find herself a decent man who will be honest and true to her!

But I am a sucker. So I popped a few tears (I wrote "pooped" at first, which would just be a strange concept.)

So Ken and Tina, wherever you are, after the cameras are gone, after the adrenaline from running the race courses through your veins and fades into the background of your daily lives, I wish you well. I hope the marriage sticks this time. I hope you are true to each other and love each other until the day you die. If not for yourselves, then...for me.

Please, let not my tears have been in vain.

Who knew "The Amazing Race" could be so revelatory? Me, that's who.



Kelly said...

I can't believe you cried when Ken pooped the question...for the second time.

Just Jon said...

Yes, Nick and Starr where backstabbing and did not play nice, but I still wanted them to win. Seriously, Ken and Tina were awful to watch and the frat boys could possibly be the worst players in Amazing Race history!