Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Rainy Gay

It's raining today. And it's supposed to be "A Day Without a Gay." I want to know if people are actually doing this in California. I know Brian is at work today, but only because our boss professed her love of gays and said he had to come in. But I think it would be pretty amazing if this was successful, especially in my home state!

And I am going to try not to blog about TV anymore. I've decided. Instead I am only going to post links like this:

Well I really only wanted to post that to celebrate this:

Happy rainy hump day, y'all.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Amazing Disgrace

I have always enjoyed "The Amazing Race." I didn't actually watch the show, but I always loved the concept. A race around the world! And Mei working on it forever, and then her going on the race made it that much more totally awesome (although those cryptic phone calls where Mei would call to say hi and upon being asked where she was would just reply "Secret..." were damn annoying.)

I watched the show for one season, about 4 years ago, when I had just moved back to NYC. My sister and I made it a weekly ritual. We liked to imagine that we, too, were on the race and may or may not have been heard saying to each other: "Rory and are team number...ONE." And we loved the hot brothers.

I hadn't watched it at all until this season (yes, I missed the Goths of season past). It is honestly rare that I actually follow a show. SERIOUSLY! The only shows I can actually follow have to be on Bravo because they re-air the episodes 17 times a week. But I made it a point to follow this show. And it sucked! I mean it was still exciting in a way, but the teams were terrible. And I missed the first episode where the self proclaimed Hippies got kicked off. One by one, any team I would get behind or would be entertained by were eliminated. So we were left with the horrible frat boys, the eventual winners Nick and Starr (who were conniving and backstabbing bitches) and then Ken and Tina. They were a separated couple who were trying to see if they should give their marriage another shot. And I think he cheated on her or something. But they were the WORST! In probably every sense of the word. They were annoying to look at, annoying to listen to and were just....annoying. Apparently my thesaurus is broken.

So at the end, when all of the teams are on "the mat" and Nick and Starr are reveling in their post-win glory (cocky bastards) Ken and Tina come running in, in second place. And then Ken starts shaking and almost crying and talking about how it's been a long road. And then he's pulling out a little package from his pocket and talking about how much he loves Tina. And then we see that he's pulling wedding bands from this package and grabbing Tina's hand and saying "I know we've haven't been wearing these lately" and then he's really crying and she's crying too and then he's putting the ring on her finger saying he wants to give it another go.

And then I'm crying.

I KNOW! It's ridiculous. I hate them! So why, after how ever many episodes, should they make me cry? What does this say about me as a person? As a modern woman? And he cheated on her. He's a bastard! I shouldn't cry over his display of emotion and declaration of love, I should scream at the TV and warn Tina, however annoying she is, to run, run far away and find herself a decent man who will be honest and true to her!

But I am a sucker. So I popped a few tears (I wrote "pooped" at first, which would just be a strange concept.)

So Ken and Tina, wherever you are, after the cameras are gone, after the adrenaline from running the race courses through your veins and fades into the background of your daily lives, I wish you well. I hope the marriage sticks this time. I hope you are true to each other and love each other until the day you die. If not for yourselves, then...for me.

Please, let not my tears have been in vain.

Who knew "The Amazing Race" could be so revelatory? Me, that's who.


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Top Chef Beef

I have beef with Top Chef. To be more specific, I have beef with Jeff, the toe-headed wonder boy from Miami. Not only does he seem really wormy and annoying on the show, I find him REALLY unattractive. I do recognize that most people would find someone like him attractive, but I think his personality cancels it out.

Then I get to work. And people agree that he can be sort of arrogant (again, I think more wormy and pathetic than arrogant) but they all think he's HOT! How is this possible? HOT? As in, really really attractive? Ugh, there's no home for humanity.

I realize I am in the minority being so completely repulsed by him, but come ON! Look at that pose! That face! NOOOOOOOOO! It's like someone took James Spader and a dash of Ellen and made a horrible person.
I do love me some Tom Colicchio though. Maybe that explains things.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Pandora's Christmas Box

I am so late to the game. Really. To every game. I used to be sort of on it. I wouldn't say I ever really had my finger on the pulse or anything like that, but I was with it. Anyway, I've only recently discovered the joys of Pandora, thanks to Kadi. I knew about it, but last week, during an extreme lull at work, decided to try it out and I love it! Better late than never?

That said, I went a little nutty yesterday and decided to make a Jingle Bells station. The only artists/songs I put in to create this station was, of course, "Jingle Bells" and The Waitresses (Holiday.) That was an option. But I bring this up because it's December and I always get excited for Christmas. This is one game I'm never too late on. So I'm jamming at work, with my headphones on, to a little Elvis, Bon Jovi and then that song from Auntie Mame comes on..."Haul out the holly!" and I'm done. That song will be in my head for the next 2 months!

I always do this to myself. I should probably wait until the 20th to bust out the Christmas music. Last year I mistakenly put my infamous "BLC Christmas" albums (2001 and 2004 editions) on my ipod shuffle. I absolutely love having the shuffle and can't live without it, but I am really bad about updating it on a regular basis. So usually I'm stuck with some random playlist I made for a plane trip that I will listen to over and over. Last year, it was the Christmas playlist. So these songs end up in my iTunes "Recently Played" playlist which I will play in my apartment randomly. This means the Christmas songs keep coming up and getting played. Which then means these songs start to appear in the exclusive Top 250 playlist. The end result is that when I'm cleaning my apartment in the middle of July I will suddenly hear Angela Lansbury scream through the speakers: "Haul out the holly!" I don't know what's more embarrassing: blaring Christmas music in July or admitting that I have that damn Auntie Mame song on my ipod.

Anyway, thanks Pandora, for infecting my brain with those delicious Christmas confections and reminding me that sometimes good things come in small doses. It was a hard lesson, but a good one. Now I'm just listening to "Bridget's Depressing Music" station. Seriously, who knew my tailor made radio station would be such a downer...ugh.

Season's Greetings,

PS: I just went and made a new Pandora station. The only song I put in was Beyonce's "Single Ladies." See, I'm upbeat! I swear!