He Walks All Over Me. And I let Him.

My main man

I suppose you could say this entire thing is my fault. "That is so typical," my friends would say, putting all of the blame on myself so he doesn't have to take any responsibility. But if I'm being honest, it's true. I'm the one, over four years ago, who let him move in with me. No questions asked. He needed a place to stay and he was pretty cute. So what if he was a bit aloof and whined when he was hungry? He was mine. Yet I should have known, from the very first day, that he was anything but mine. I was, now and forever, irrevocably his.

Things started getting pretty hairy pretty quick. Literally. His hair was everywhere. I'd come in to work and find a clump of his soft down on my sweater. My co-workers thought it was gross and were forever offering me use of a sticky lint roller. I politely declined. To me, the hair wasn't gross. In fact, it was a reminder of what I had waiting for me at home.  I should probably mention he doesn't work. He doesn't do much of anything, for that matter, and what I find so incredible is that it doesn't even bother him. I think that's part of his charm. He's so confident in who he is that he doesn't have anything to prove. Wish I was so lucky.

It wasn't long before he felt more comfortable in the apartment than I did. He started taking to gently hitting my face before sunrise because he wanted me to make him breakfast. I could have said no, I could have rolled over and pretended to be asleep. Yet I didn't. I got up. I thought it was kind of sweet at first, that he would only eat something I prepared for him, even while there was perfectly good food easily within reach. He started to only drink out of my cups, which kind of bothered me. Not that I let him know.

After a while, things started to take their toll on me. I was pulling late nights at the office, stressed out of my mind, but he didn't care. He'd get up on the bed come 5AM, start pouncing on me, yelling in my face. There I'd be, blindly feeling my way through the dark apartment to the kitchen, doing my best not to trip over the mess I never seemed to have the time to clean. I'd hastily make him what he wanted, unceremoniously dumping a plate in front of him, hoping he'd notice my annoyance. That, too, was ignored. I went back to bed, defeated once again.

I am aware of how bad this all sounds, of how I enable this terrible behavior day after day after day. Though I should mention things are improving. He doesn't wake me up as much in the mornings and it's rare for him to hit me in the face these days. He even lets me hug him for about ten seconds before he squirms away. But he still walks all over me, especially when I'm in bed, and you know what? I don't care. The simple fact is, I love the little guy. When I come home after a long day, he runs into the room, his eyes wide and bright with expectation. He's happy to see me and that, my friends, makes it all worth it.

Oh, did I mention he has a sister? She lives with me, too, and that's a whole other story...

Yeah, there's two of them...

I'm Up and Running...

I've written about my experience doing the Disney World Princess Half Marathon for Hello Giggles, a fab new site you should check out if you haven't already.

Check out the article.

I'm hoping to be writing more about my running and training in the near future, for those who are interested. And those who aren't, f u.

Just kidding, I didn't mean that.

Sincerely,
Bridget

Procrastination Vacation

I'm having a seriously hard time concentrating as of late. I'm trying to write and work on projects but my focus just isn't there. I keep perusing facebook or surfing the web for "procrastination cures" which only creates more distractions, like HuffPo's entertainment page. Not helpful.

Also, my cats won't leave me alone when I'm working. And they're really cute, so it's hard to ignore them. I'm hoping by actually updating my blog and sharing this with the world that I'll magically be able to concentrate and write for hours, fueled by inspiration and cat magic.

So, here's hoping.

Sincerely,
Bridget

I Need to Update This

It's been almost a year and the last thing I wrote about was deodorant.

Think it's time for a proper update.

A little later.

Sincerely,
Bridget

Lady Gaga vs. the Crystal Stick

Here it is.

The post you have ALL been waiting for. The post where I discuss my use of the CRYSTAL STICK.

What does this have to do with Lady Gaga? A LOT.

First off, I have to tell you that I am totally surprised that this stick, disguised to look like some form of BAN circa 1986, totally WORKS! My years of scoffing at the sight of this and laughing in the faces of anyone who suggested using it are over. Believe the hype, people. This rock will change your life. forever. Or not, to be honest, but it works pretty well!

The first day I used it I was not only stink-free, I wasn't really sweaty. And after I worked out I didn't smell.

And then comes Lady Gaga. I went to see said lady at Radio City this past weekend. It was insane. Wanna be Gagas filled the theater. There was more synthetic blond hair than in Kim Z's wigs. All that, coupled with the fact that Lady Gaga's show is insane, with so many lights, dance routines, video screens, fog,etc. Suffice it to say: it was damn hot in there. I have never been to a concert where I got so exhausted from watching someone else perform.

And that leads me back to the crystal. it really wasn't a complete match for Lady Gaga. There were...trace scents. It totally could have been my concert partner, though. Rumor has it he was also trying a natural deodorant. Maybe Howard Stern put something in the water?

Anyway, I'm still on the Crystal bandwagon and it seems to be working better. But further research has revealed that this may not be all that much better than traditional antiperspirants. It contains ammonium alum, which some say is really bad for you and others say is okay because your body doesn't absorb it...? Who knows. This process of finding more "natural" products is exhausting. According to THIS site everything you think is good is bad and when things are labeled good, you can't totally trust it because there just aren't enough tests on all the shit companies put in their products.

That said, I'm stickin' with old Crystal for a while. It's better than the Alba. I will hopefully try one of the "fancy" natural deodorants soon. I'm very curious as to how well those work.

In the meantime, in the words of Lady Gaga, "I'm K-kinda BUSY." So peace out. And watch my video again!

Sincerely,
Bridget

Au Naturale? Oh, Naturale!

Natural deodorant.

It's something that seems to come up intermittently, every few years or so, and I think: I really should use a more natural deodorant. We all hear the horrible things about aluminum (specifically aluminum chlorohydrate ) and how it causes anything from breast cancer to Alzheimer's. I also read disputing arguments stating that these antiperspirants cause no harm, or basically that there is no proof. But I do like the idea of putting less..toxic? questionable? things in and on and around my body. I think this sounds reasonable enough, right? I should mention that this is kind of wishful thinking as I definitely put way too much diet fanta soda and Doritos into my system. Many people would consider these things VERY toxic.

So I think I am going to share with all 3 of you my exploits as I try to find a decent natural deodorant, if such a thing exists. I will start by saying that in college I did buy a stick of Tom's of Maine, and found it unsatisfactory. I think that I may have used it all of 2 times. This time, while perusing the drug store, I came across some nattys and decided to give it another shot. This time I picked up Alba's Tea Tree Enzyme Stick because it was between that, Tom's and Nature's gate. And to be honest, I liked the color of the package. The designers did their job, okay? I am totally a sucker for nice packaging. I know it's ridiculous, but if something has an ugly logo I might turn to its pretty competitor.

It was only after I bought the deodorant on a whim that I began obsessively researching natural deodorants, deodorants/antiperspirants in general, and really just became generally preoccupied with this issue. Yes, I know. People are starving, dying and generally suffering in the world. But I don't want to make those around me suffer with my incredible stink!

So now for the good stuff. It's been about 3 days on Alba. And I have to say I'm not that impressed. I know that as a deodorant this won't stop the sweating, but I don't want to stink! I should preface all this by saying that I don't ever stink and don' sweat that much. Well, I should say that I don't stink when I wear a typical antiperspirant. I've been on the Dove train for a while. I would apply once in the morning and that was it. I'd be fine all day, and overnight and even during a workout the next morning. That's all the toxic shit doing its job apparently.

Anyway, I feel like I've been coating my arms with inches of this Alba stuff and by the time I get home I definitely detect a trace scent...of myself. And while it's not terrible I don't want to have to think about my pits. I don't want to have to reapply anything to my pits and I REALLY don't want people to catch me sniffing my pits.



So I bought the rock. The Crystal stick. The thing that if seen in a medicine chest screams A HIPPIE LIVES HERE. I never thought this would work, but so many reviewers swear by it, so why not?

Tomorrow, it's all about the stick.

I should also mention that we may have some more videos coming up in the near future in case you're interested in things OTHER than my smelly body.

Sincerly,
Bridget

PEE PANTS!

Anyone who is here has most likely already seen this, but hey, if not: PEE PANTS!

Pee Pants! - Lady Gaga Parody - watch more funny videos